Frequently asked questions
Can the bride choose who will walk her down the aisle?
Traditionally, the father of the bride escorts his daughter down the aisle. However, if the father has passed away or for any other reason, it may be more appropriate to have another person escort the bride. Some brides prefer to be escorted by both parents. Ultimately, this decision is personal and entirely up to the bride.
Can toddlers participate as ring bearers and flower girls?
Yes, they can. However, it's important to remember that they are young children. They might not walk straight down the aisle, stop and cause a pause in the bridal procession, or become scared or frustrated and start crying loudly.
If you plan to involve young children in your wedding procession, it would be a good idea for them to sit with their parents or grandparents during the ceremony. If the ring bearer is a small child, it's advisable to secure a gold or silver-plated ring onto the ring bearer's pillow and to have the actual rings looked after by the Best Man.
Do you provide amplification equipment for the wedding?
No. Typically, this is provided by the venue or your DJ, sound technicians, or musicians. Even if you have a small number of guests, we strongly recommend requesting an amplification system. Background noises like wind, surf, passing aircraft or helicopters, and traffic can distract or overpower a human voice, and older people, such as grandparents, often have difficulty hearing clearly over these background noises.
How many bridesmaids/groomsmen should we select for our wedding?
When choosing the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen for your wedding, it's important to consider a few practical factors:
1. Consider the size of your venue and the space where the wedding ceremony will occur. You want to avoid overcrowding and ensure enough space for everyone.
2. It's a good idea to have a balanced ratio of attendants to guests. A general suggestion is to have a Maid of Honor, a Best Man, and one set of attendants (bridesmaid and groomsman) for every 50 guests. Ultimately, the decision depends on personal preference and the constraints of your venue.
A rehearsal may not be necessary for a small wedding party, such as two groomsmen and two bridesmaids, but it is advisable for larger parties.
Attire and Memories:
Remember when you were a small child and went into your grandmother's bedroom and saw a photograph of her in her wedding gown, with your grandfather standing next to her? The pictures you take on your wedding day will be passed on to your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and countless family members and friends. In this internet age, they will be posted onto social media before you even leave the reception. What clothing styles work best for the groomsmen and bridal party?
If unsure, consider selecting a classic, understated, timeless style. Avant-garde fashion may seem brilliant this season, but it may be reduced to a Halloween costume ten years from now.
Select clothing appropriate for the time of day your wedding is scheduled, such as late morning/early afternoon or evening wear.
Select clothing in sizes that fit and are comfortable. Coco Chanel once quipped, "If it is not comfortable, it is not luxury." Few things are more uncomfortable and unflattering than clothing that is too small or ill-fitting.
Photography and Videographers:
TIP: Before setting the start time of your ceremony, check the sunset time on your wedding day. Make sure to allow at least an hour of sunlight after your wedding ceremony ends so your photographer can capture photos of you, your wedding party, and your family. Also, will my guests be sitting in full sun?
Immediately after the wedding ceremony, the Wedding Coordinator will lead the newlywed couple and wedding party to take photos with the photographer while the guests enjoy the cocktail hour. This photo session usually takes 45 minutes to one hour.
Note that some guests may linger at the ceremony site, unknowingly delaying the start of the wedding party's photo session.
Additionally, some guests may want to congratulate the newlywed couple personally, potentially causing further delays.
After the photo session, the couple and the wedding party will rejoin their guests at the reception. Some couples may opt to take their photographs before the wedding ceremony so they can join their guests immediately afterward. Remember, genuine, candid shots capture special moments in a way that posed photographs cannot. A professional and experienced photographer and videographer will work discreetly to capture these moments without interrupting the wedding ceremony.
Please schedule a day off for both of you the week of your wedding.
The week of the wedding can be hectic for most couples. It's common for things to go awry and for friends and relatives you haven't seen in years to come into town. There are thousands of things to do, and sometimes, differences of opinion on how to do certain things can lead to arguments.
Plan a day for just the two of you to escape it all. Make a romantic date, go to the beach, visit your favorite restaurant, play, and have fun together. This will give you both a much-needed break from all the logistics and remind you why you decided to marry each other and what your wedding is truly about.
Your Marriage Vows:
There are two typical formats for the vows.
1. The traditional question-and-answer format: "Do you take [Name] for your lawful husband/wife, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and health, to have and to hold, from this day forward until death do you part?" You respond, "I Do." This format is popular because it is simple and familiar.
2. Another option for exchanging marriage vows is composing your own personal vows and exchanging them with each other in the ceremony before your family and friends. Please review the “Personal Vows” section at the bottom of the "Your Wedding" page. This is considered one of the most romantic and intimate ways to exchange marriage vows.
Some suggestions include Printing your vows in a beautiful script on high-quality parchment that is professionally matted and framed. Discuss with your partner your preference regarding the formats for your exchange of vows, and select a format that you will both enjoy as a couple.
Is a Pre-Marital Counseling Session required?
No. However, I have arranged a complimentary thirty-minute pre-marital counseling session with Dr. James Walton, a marriage and family therapist licensed by the State of California.
Some topics that will be covered include communication, finances, in-laws, pre-marital anxieties, children, and blending families. For more information, please refer to the "Journal Questions" page. To schedule your complimentary appointment with Dr. Walton, please call (818) 753-4865 and mention that Fr. Farrow referred you for a pre-marital appointment.
Drinking before your Wedding Ceremony:
On your wedding day, feeling emotional and anxious about being the center of attention is normal. While having a drink to calm your nerves may seem like a good idea, it's important to remember that your marriage vows are a verbal legal contract. Just like any other legal agreement, being under the influence of alcohol can raise questions about your ability to make a clear decision. It could affect the validity of the contract.
In California, both parties must be sober when exchanging vows. If you're feeling anxious or stressed about being in the spotlight, consider using your thirty-minute session with Dr. Walton to learn relaxation techniques.
What documents do I need to bring with me on my wedding day?
Please remember to bring the following items:
Your Marriage License and the envelope provided to you by the County with their mailing address printed on it. Please keep these dry and do not fold your Marriage License.
If you have a Public Marriage License, your two adult witnesses must bring valid, government-issued photo identification, such as a Driver's License.